How to get better at English effectively & effortlessly

Before the first time moving to America, I was confident in my English. I was at least on top of the proficiency test in my home country and for sure I would handle it all. As it turned out, I felt like I never have learned the language because people had difficulty understanding me. This fact crushed me. The reason and solution were not obvious back then and I’d like to share how I’d improve along the way.

In the early two years, I had my mentor and students told me that “you might want to improve your listening proficiency,” or “you seem to have a huge language barrier.” In the meantime, some people were impressed at my “well-spoken English.”

These are all good intentions that point me out the aspects to grow and improve. But, what’s up that I could be at two ends of the spectrum? How come I’m both bad and good at it?

One of the situations where I received compliments was over a dinner reunion, with my husband’s colleagues who I met for the first time. The couples sat across us were genuinely interested in us and we felt the same way back. Somehow, I started talking about my traveling stories on and on such as how my iPhone got stolen in the Paris subway (which still made me stunned by today). That night I was relaxed and felt like having fun. 

Have fun and learn!

The number one thing to effortlessly express yourself is to free yourself from judgment.

Every time I have the opportunity to speak up, I’m nervous and telling myself "I will do it awesome." Though it’s nice positive self-talk it could put pressure on me, particularly if something not under control happens. On the other hand, "I'm going to have fun and learn" shifts me to a growth mindset. Just reframe the goal of the process turns it into something that doesn’t involve judgment.

Stop overthinking. Stop worrying mistakes. Stop telling yourself that you are not ready.

Most importantly, stop caring what other people think.

Intake the relevant materials and practice with focused use

The second thing I want to debunk fluency is that we can’t be fluent at something we don’t know much about. We get fluent by topics.

Imagine, can you talk about everything in your native language? I mean, EVERYTHING.

Do you believe that for a long while, I was confused with the parenting conversation? It’s a new territory where I barely knew the tone and subjects. (what’s a sippy cup? Sea pea? My brain was most of the time blank when teachers asked me about some baby accessories.) At some point, I started tuning in some family podcasts and incorporating the words to my daily conversation. Even though I don’t succeed at the first time trying, once I do, I take it a victory!

If you want to improve conversational flow, listen actively to quality conversations. Tune in podcasts that are of interest. Analyze the words and sentence organizations. Repeat after those that strongly resonate with you.

If you want to improve writing, read articles that are of interest. Pay attention to the big picture structures and how the paragraphs are connected. Remind yourself about the flow of the story when you write.

If you want to improve presentation style, watch well-presented webinars. Learn how they open the session and how they deal with questions.

You get the point. YOU make your English environment. Chose and practice based on how you want yourself to be like.