How will I come out of pandemic with confidence?

The pandemic is by no means over yet. No. Unfortunately. While fighting the global issue, I also work on myself for personal growth. Over the past four months, despite some life hardships, I chose to reflect on my internal conflict and eventually make mindset changes. It’s a process of awakening, mindful, and never looking back.

Entering the 6th year of PhD that mixed with parenting and all kinds of responsibility, I almost abandon the idea of improving my life. It’s so much happening so there will be no solution to make me feel better. On the surface I look just fine but deep down, I suffer from burnt-out without me even recognizing.  

And then the pandemic hit. Time stretches in a surreal way. Life order and priorities restructure. The most essential change is that I’m learning to create space that separates me from the challenges in life. If I always come close to the problems, I wouldn’t be able to discover my blind spots.    

The practices lead me to a better relationship with my PhD work, the science communication effort, and even the vision of being a mother. To feel put together, Live the life to feel good about yourself. When you feel good, you look good. And here are the main habits that awake my confidence so that I can be the best of myself.

Redefine the meaning of success

I’d admit, I was, and would be likely again, hijacked by numbers. It’s an easy trap. From the quantity of data I collect to the articles I write to the income I aim for, the list can go on and on. But everything comes down to this basic question, “what does success mean to me?”

My answer to it is simple. “I want a calm and happy life.” It’s so simple so that I doubt if it could be a thing. Unconsciously, I add extra layers of complexity as checking points, as if it helps measure the success rate to success. They only become roadblocks that get me to reroute. In the end, I get stuck and lose confidence.

Once I leave the doubts behind, I start to put things on a different perspective. Whatever I choose to accomplish, it’s not something behind me that pushes forward, nor in front of me that I have to chase after hard. It’s inside me that makes me feel calm and happy.

As self doubt is natural, I’m not trying to push it away or doing more to prove myself. The vision of the successful me - calm and fulfilling, is simple but effective.

Resources for cultivating personal space

Journal

One of the entries in my journal, reflecting how I feel transformed.

As a writer, oddly I haven’t obsessively written on a real piece of paper since adulthood. Thanks, technology. Now I have pages of notes that are all my self-discovery. Writing on the paper slows down my thoughts and makes the challenges/problems not about me anymore. Normally at the end of the notes, I’d find out a new layer or a solution perspective centers around my struggles.

A few prompts shared here:

· What does success mean to me, if success is easy?

· What’s the failure I’m worried about. (In this one, I had a light-bulb moment of how to direct an effective communication with my advisor.)

· A letter to something/someone I lost. (I spent a page grieving over our puppy, which helped me process the lost.)

· How I associate money and xxx. (In my case it’s my mom. This money associated prompt actually triggered a few more pages.)

· What an ideal image from Becoming book makes me feel. (I realized the non-negotiable thing in my relationship with kids.)

Yoga and Meditation

Yoga has entered my life for almost 15 years. I never hate it once but only feel energized after a yoga practice. It feels right to me. The pandemic ignites my curiosity toward online yoga class and amazingly it works. I recommend @yogawithadria with her “30 days of Home yoga.” I like it not only because of the yoga gesture, also her episode customized mantra that reflects the essence of Living life to feel good.

As most of the yoga practices involve some meditation, I’m not unfamiliar with the meditation exercise. But until I fully adopt the 10 min per day commitment, I realize the power of being present by focusing on my breath and doing nothing. I use the app @calm for it offers guided series that maintain a level of anticipation.

Take a break

This is probably the most neglected, meanwhile powerful, tip that I come to understand. Seriously, execute it. Taking short breaks in between tasks in the day, and breaks for at least a couple of hours in a week. To reset, I plunge in activities like reading, planning, or sometimes doing household chores while listening to a podcast - anything that keeps me from work or multimedia stimulation. Cultivate a space where you face only yourself, you’ll get a better chance looking at problems in a panama view.

During this uncertain times, I’m navigating difficult situations as well. But I chose to push past my comfort zone, gaining space where I grow confidence. And the treasure I’ve found will for sure guide me through future life.