The Learning Curve in PhD – Empowerment in Last Years

“When do I get to earn my doctoral degree?” is always is a question that lingers in the minds of Ph.D. students.

On the one hand, setting a measurable number of years is practical. On the other hand, I think the million-dollar question is “how do I know when I’m ready (or when it’s a Go sign)?”

Last year when the pandemic hit, I decided that it’s a good time for me to step in on a research project to solve the interpretation and computational challenges. It involves programming skills, which I barely knew as I couldn’t read a single line of code.

One year in, I have learned a great deal – not only scientifically, but also about myself.

When you meet with your weakness

The efforts I have put in start to bloom - the computational modeling (sorta) agrees; The newly adopted algorithm tool is useful; The interpretations and storyline start to make sense. Creating during the ups and downs, I feel great about the breakthrough.

Without knowing it, something quickly turns my uplifting mood around – I could spend a good hour working on a part of one figure but feel like something is missing. The frustration turns into disappointment and then into self-doubt.

“I am bad at this. I am not cut for the degree.”

I actually suffer a brief panic as the crisis is too familiar.

I believe it’s not an uncommon mental process that runs in PhD students’ minds. Yet this time, I catch it, reframe it, and move forward.

Sharing my first experience and primary outcome from using Blender to visualize science.

When you recognize your habit of trusting yourself

In the middle of my PhD, I’ve recognized that I have a passion for writing. When I write, feeling stuck is more than normal. As I’ve been through the process repeatedly, my brain can predict what’s going to happen. I’d put my writing on pause, with confidence that I will be coming back stronger because I trust myself.

The same mind habit is supposed to apply to the other aspects. It is not that I’m incapable. It is time to build a habit for the unfamiliar workflow. With repeated action and feedbacks, the loop brings you trust and confidence in yourself.

Part of getting your PhD done includes recognizing your strength. Therefore, embrace it, be proud of it, take no fluff about it, and use it as much as you can.

Grow in grace with your weakness is equally essential. Embrace it. Confront it. Reach out to improve it.

Becoming comfortable with your uncomfortable weakness is, I’d believe, what makes a PhD-in-the-making closer to the time feeling ready.